Divorce is hard — but you’ll make it a lot harder if you don’t listen carefully to your attorney and make certain that you avoid falling into a trap of your own making.
Even if your spouse is a heel and you’re justifiably angry, don’t let yourself get into trouble by doing any of the following things:
1. Do not verbally berate your spouse. In particular, don’t do it in front of the children. Don’t ever say anything to your spouse that you don’t want to hear repeated in court — especially if it’s your child repeating it. That can cost you more than just a little embarrassment — it could cost you custody.
2. Don’t get involved with someone else. You don’t need the drama and you certainly don’t need the headache of having your morality questioned in court — especially if you have young children. Put existing romances on hold until the divorce is final.
3. Don’t hide your assets. This is a great way to lose them and make yourself the target of the judge’s ire. Failure to disclose an asset can result in the judge awarding that asset to your spouse.
4. Don’t try to manipulate the kids into seeing their other parent as the “bad” person that caused the breakup (even if he or she did). Keep your explanations about what happened to your marriage kid-friendly. And keep the kids out of adult business. You don’t want accusations that you are purposefully trying to alienate the children against their other parent (even if everything you are saying is true).
5. Don’t vent on social media. If you can’t trust yourself to stay silent or mostly vague about the situation on Facebook or Twitter, delete your accounts until the divorce is over. Again, the basic rule to remember is this: Don’t put anything in writing that you don’t want brought into court and shown to the judge.
6. Don’t try to ruin your spouse’s career. If your spouse cheated on you with the secretary and that violates the company’s code of conduct, think twice before telling your spouse’s boss. You could be shooting yourself in the wallet when it comes time to collect spousal or child support.
Source: FindLaw, “The Divorce Process: Do’s and Don’ts,” accessed Aug. 18, 2017
