After divorce, you and your ex need to have a child custody plan in place. You also need to figure out how you can reduce stress on the children and help them adjust to this new living situation.
One potential solution is known as bird-nesting, and it is a relatively new approach that really puts the kids’ needs first.
Essentially, the children stay in the same home all the time. They do not have to get transported back and forth. They get their own rooms and possessions. They get to feel just as secure in the home as they did when you and your spouse were married. They keep the same neighbors, the same friends and the same school.
To make it work, you and your ex just move in and out of the house. During your week of custody, you live with the kids. On your ex’s week, you move out and he or she moves in.
Of course, you need another home or apartment where you can live on the off weeks. Sometimes, each parent gets a place outside of the home. In other cases, the couple buys a second residence together and shares it, which each person using it while the other is in the family home.
This obviously takes a lot of cooperation and coordination on your part, but it really can help the children adjust and feel comfortable after the divorce. Make sure you fully understand your parental rights under your custody agreement. Unique plans may be useful, but you need to carefully address everyone’s rights and obligations.
